This is an aspect which ALL persons with disabilities face some or the other point in life irrespective of their disability being temporary or permanent. I am no different. For 4 long years I suffered from the “Why Me” syndrome which I later realised arises from self pity. I had a great life, a loving husband and adorable daughter and one fine day, BOOM !! My life completely changed in a matter of seconds. I was bed ridden, almost blind with just sensation of light. This made me feel like a piece of furniture and sometimes even worse, a rotten vegetable. Although I have an extremely supportive family, lovely friends and amazing well wishers, this decline in self worth is something no PwD can resist. However, just like we have these emotions we are also the ones who rise from the darkest dungeons. All we need is a small trigger, like a small glow worm on the darkest night. For me, it was the day my 3 year old daughter came to my room to show her birthday gift. A doll with long hair, she took my hand and made me feel the doll’s long hair, as though she already knew my vision had declined. That was my glow worm night and from that day I started working on my recovery!!
So do I still have the “Why Me” days ? Absolutely. When I see other women all dressed up, when I hear about the professional success of my peers, when I get to know how my kids moms are spending time with them at amusement parks, I have self pity. BUT the difference now is that I have groomed my mind to ignore these moments and channelise my time and energy towards creating beautiful memories for my family and friends.
Hence food for thought – all PwDs have immense inner strength which they should channelise to create beautiful memories rather than clinging on to self pity and declining self worth.
Contributed by Aritra Bandyopadhyay
Member, APNA
